Psychoanalysis has traditionally emphasized the necessity to make clear choices, especially regarding gender identification. The postmodern perspective has called intoquestion the distinctness of such identifications, particularly through the work of Judith Butler. Butler's essay on melancholy from unacknowledged loss of same-gendered parent as love object is taken as a stimulus for psychoanalytic inquiry into matters regarding gender choices. Shame over perceived difference from cultural norms is considered with regard to the movie Ma Vie en Rose (1997), and in a dream told and discussed by a patient.