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The following report tries to compile the results of several research projects of the main author and his co-workers dealing with the exchange of affect within different types of relationships. Different conceptualizations of transference and countertransference as specific forms of creating relationships are described and the fundamental differences between successful psychotherapeutic relationships and empathetic every day relationships are outlined. Our investigations make it highly probable that transference is a very ubiquitous phenomena to be found in nearly every relationship as specific forms of affective scripts. The specificity of these scripts follows the disturbance with quantity and quality of the shown affect being the main differential marker. Within the severe disturbances we find reductions of affect with one remaining negative “lead-affect”, with neurotic patients an excess of conflicts affects. Within the group of severe disturbances affect is attached to the self or to the relationship within neuroses and healthy subject to the objects the dyad talks about. The main difference between successful psychotherapeutic and every day relationships can be characterized by the fact that the therapist does not interactively react to the unconscious affective relationship offers, the patient makes, but develops instead those affects the patient is unable to generate, despite they would be urgently necessary from the meaning structure of the situation.