Psychoanalytical identity is more like a process than a state, reflecting the balance between the self and the expectations of the reference group. But what is the common ground where psychoanalysts can refer to facing changes in psychoanalytic theory and practice, especially in the direction of the intersubjective paradigm? In this paper, the traditional psychoanalytic attitude of an objective interpretation of the inner world of the patient is contrasted to the position that is the result of the intersubjective conception of the psychoanalytic process. The latter assigns the role of a co-player to the analyst. This has far-reaching consequences for the concept of abstinence, which are developed in this paper against a background of a short clinical vignette.