The long term perspective

It is spring in Stockholm and outside my office the grass is becoming greener every day. Tulips, daffodils and wood anemones just have started to flourish. Hopefully they will bloom for another couple of weeks. Spring also is connected with biking. Some days ago I shared an observation with my physician, also in his sixties, that young women with child seat on their bicycle got ahead of us.

Becoming older gives us an opportunity to look back. Last year I received a letter from my first patient, Lars, who was in analysis with me from June 1973 to March 1985. With his permission I quote his letter: ”I am sorry that I have not written before. I have started to write several times, but thought that I have nothing to say. I do no remember anything negative. You always informed me in good time if there was any change in our meetings. When I got stuck in a problem, which I had ruminated for a long time, you gently coaxed me further, giving me an alternative way to look at the problem. I have found this useful. In many situations I myself have been able to give an alternative way to look at a problem to another persons. Circles on the water. I remember when you made a drastic comment, when I had gone over my mother's non-ending stream of words. You said: ”Why not ask the old hug to shut up?” For some days I absorbed these words with a foolish smile in my face. Your intervention could not have been done in a better way. The untouchable, noble, guilt giving mother was instantly reduced to a common human being, as if a stroke by magic. For a long time I tried to provoke you, expecting that you should ask me to leave. At last I gave in, I remember, laughing in an embarrassed way, saying: “You win.” I do not think I ever I told you about the calm mixed with sorrow, I felt at that time. This feeling reminds me of an experience I had when I was 10 – 11 years old and was lonely in a grove of pines, the sun filtered through the branches, it was warm, and I suddenly had a feeling of p