In this paper ‘jealousy’ and ‘envy’ are discussed from a unique perspective: as therapeutic goals rather than as maladaptive mechanisms. Furthermore, I suggest that jealousy be regarded as a performance of love. Four states are distinguished here; two of them are ‘primal narcissistic’, and the other two are ‘intersubjective’. Intersubjective envy and jealousy should be embraced as a ‘welcome flag’ that signals a couple's entry into the oedipal layers. Mutuality and shared unconscious are described by means of ‘recognition’ as a central concept. This article views recognition as a form of identification that allows ‘me parts’ to be found and reclaimed from the significant ‘other’. In favor of historical justice and clarity, I introduce a less familiar case of Freud (1933) – Herr. P, and conclude with my own case story.