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The themes of Dimitrijevic and Buchholz’s collection of essays – loneliness and solitude – have resonated during the shelter-in-place and quarantine periods imposed by the recent global pandemic of Covid-19. But the latter has created nothing new. It has fueled loneliness just as Western culture has been doing for decades by encouraging alienating social values such as competitiveness, individual success, and impersonal social relationships (Rokach, 2019). Furthermore, the increasing use of communication technology and social media has made it easier for people to avoid developing and maintaining meaningful and close relationships (Worland, 2015). Although analytic rooms are equally inhabited by loneliness, psychoanalysts – with some noteworthy exceptions (for example, Storr, 2005) – have written very little about loneliness and even less about solitude.
But what exactly is the difference between loneliness and solitude, experiences around which the reviewed book revolves? Before answering this question, it should be remembered that this is a linguistic distinction peculiar to English and not to other languages such as Spanish, French, and German. This is an important premise when considering that language affects how one thinks and perceives the world (Deutscher, 2010).
Loneliness is a subjective experience of unwanted separation from meaningful others that causes suffering that is difficult to tolerate and can have a significant impact on the person’s physical and mental health. Although unwanted, it is an integral part of every person’s life, which can first emerge at birth, occur during one or more stages of life, or even be present throughout the entire life course. However, from an evolutionary standpoint, loneliness is a source of motivation to seek and create meaning and relationships (human social skills are a result of regular practice related to that original motivation), thus fostering novel opportunities and personal growth.
The path the lonely person hope