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In this paper I present an analysis of a personal journey, based on Erich Fromm's concept of benign aggression, part of The Anatomy of Human Destructiveness (1973). I analyze its role in the dynamics of change based on the interaction between the psyche and the social. In Fromm's conceptual framework, benign aggression results from an unlived life, shaped by limitations on individuals' freedoms, supported by institutional and oppressive structures in a neo-capitalistic society. I explore how benign aggression, replayed between patient and therapist, can bring about changes in the self and modes of relatedness, leading to the recognition of humanistic values. In my practice, projective identification and attachment -detachment dynamics were experienced as forms of benign aggression, while anger and conflict became a way to acknowledge them. Fragments of two clinical cases illustrate how needs for relatedness-through-conflict are experienced. Relatedness expressed through a negative form of attachment can lead to the co-creation of a psychic space, a “Social Third” where ethical values are experienced and shared. This Frommian conceptual framework and methodology require total connectedness with a subject, together with the recognition and acceptance of an “Other” unto oneself. In my experience, such recognition encourages the emergence of humanistic values.