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Issues of self and identity form the psychological core of negotiation and mediation. Generally, the conflict resolution literature analyzes these “face” issues from social psychological or behavioral perspectives. In this paper, psychoanalytic developmental and interdisciplinary perspectives are used.
Psychoanalytic developmental theory consistently recognizes that with the development of a healthy sense of self, human beings also develop a reality-based and objective, but ideally also self-reflective, sense of self-and-other. This thread runs though the work of many theorists. Fostering the development of this sense of self-and-other is also crucial for mediation. It helps parties consider and resolve competing claims.
Perspectives from neuroscience and certain spiritual teachings, however, emphasize the limits of our traditional notions of self and identity. These perspectives can assist mediators in one of their most important tasks: helping parties realize that the value of their identities is not contingent upon the outcome of the negotiation.
The IDR cycle is perhaps the most important psychological dynamic in the mediation of civil disputes. This is the pattern of narcissistic inflation, deflation and realistic resolution typically experienced by parties in mediation. Impasse is a critical moment in the cycle. As in psychoanalytic impasse, mediators' capacity to release their own sense of self-investment in the outcome of the mediation is often the key to helping clients through impasse.