In this paper I draw on my working experience in Northern Ireland and elsewhere, and reflect on how relationships between communities of people who are different, whether by color or from culture, often demonstrate deep difficulties as a result of longstanding, painful traumas. Humiliation, disrespect and unfair treatment of a community can be key factors in causing conflict and violence. I believe the way forward is to recognize each other as communities of real human beings who have their own thoughts, feelings, culture, background and hopes for the future. Then, there needs to be a progression toward respecting each other as individual human beings and as communities. Respect can then be entrenched in rights, and so violence and trauma can be reduced. The fundamental aim however is to create new and better relationships, not merely to put new legal commitments and regulations in place.