In this paper an attempt has been made to explore some of the early determinants in the conceptualization of masculinity, femininity and sexual intercourse. It is the area of a patient's failure to negotiate mature male sexuality that is addressed. Clinical material is provided to illustrate the power struggle with which a patient engages as seen in the transference and counter-transference, a dialectic of domination/enslavement. We also see evidence of the beginnings of a new dialectic, the pursuit of an object who will 'take in' and attend to his needs and desires without succumbing to, or responding with, tyranny. This provides a more supporting foundation to move towards a mutually interdependent sexuality.