The British colonisation of India has had a deep-rooted influence on the psyche, cultural organisation and power-hierarchy in Indian society. I use the term ‘internalised colonisation’ to represent the depth and extent of the historical past on our present identity and everyday experiencing. The dynamics of colonialism have seeped into our internal worlds deeply influencing our sense of self, place and value in the world. In this paper, I attempt to unfold the lived, inner experience of how the complex narrative of the colonial experience resides within my being as an immigrant and contributes to my identity as a female therapist. By means of an autoethnography, I lay open three vulnerable, private experiences of racism and reactions to them while attempting to make sense of these using psychodynamic and post-colonial theory.