This paper describes the “tug of war” in parent-child relationships by taking the safety and narcissistic needs as examples. From the perspective of relatedness, in an ideal situation, the “I-Thou” relationship model is dominant, and interactive partners maintain a non-confrontational balance. In an unsatisfactory situation, the “I-It” relationship appears repeatedly, and interpersonal interactions will become a battlefield for a “power struggle.” Individuals may use the strategies of entreaty, compliance (or submission), avoidance and control to satisfy safety and narcissistic needs. From the perspective of individuation, ideally, the boundary between individuals and others maintains a dynamic balance, everyone gets along well, and individuals are able to experience solitude. In the non-ideal case, there will be problems in the boundary between interactive partners: either the boundary will be blurred and the individual will become dependent on others or others will become an appendage of the subject; or the connection will be cut off, resulting in loneliness or false independence. Human beings are constantly changing in such an intersubjective tug of war.