In this paper I show that the “narcissistic libido’ out of which the self emerges is best conceived as de-sexualized eros, for this is the kind of energy that can love ideals, love ourselves (self-esteem), and love connecting with others (selfobjects). I draw upon Plato and the late Freud to amplify how seeing the self’s energy as eros allows us to understand the self as daimonic, aesthetic, and developmental—a striving to attain evermore complex versions of itself. Eros is also an “experience-near” way to conceive of the self’s energy, as we immediately know when we are feeling intensely erotic about an activity, another person, a work of art, etc. I will further show how eros can be transformed into sexualization and narcissistic rage when the self is traumatized, thereby explaining why selves have these two kinds of by-products when traumatically injured. Conceiving of the self’s energy as eros gives us an important way to come to know our selves: we are what we love.