Eightieth Session

Richard met Mrs K. at the corner of the road on the way to the playroom. He was humming a tune and said that it was ‘If I were a Tiny Bird’. Almost at once he told her that he had had bad news the day before: his canary Dicky had died. It could not be helped,

birds die easily. (He was obviously trying to be casual in order to deny his grief, since he was very fond of his birds.) In the playroom he said that Mrs K. should from now on bring only one tree with the toys. (The two trees had often stood in his play for his two birds.)1 He was going to give a wife to Arthur (the other canary) who would now feel lonely; but it must not be a budgie because she would tear him up.

Mrs K. interpreted that Richard's song expressed his wish to be a bird, so that he could be company for the lonely bird. The bird also stood for Mummy, who would feel lonely if Daddy died; or he wanted to keep Daddy company if Mummy died. Mrs K. reminded him that his two birds had very often stood for his parents. He had frequently been very frightened of the dangerous sexual relation between his parents, and that had been one reason why he felt that they should have the same kind of genital. This meant denying the difference between the genitals of men and women, just as he had done over the watches. He was also very much afraid that his own genital was dangerous and that Mummy's genital and inside were frightening. The budgerigar was different from the canary, and that meant that the parents' genitals were after all different. He had often said that both his canaries were boys; at the same time they also stood for his parents. The budgerigar moreover represented the dangerous Mummy (Rodney) firing at him with all her guns (see previous session) and the bad Mummy who could kill Daddy. This was connected with his worry about his father's illness and the fear of his death.

Richard now looked sad. He said that he was very upset because the bird had died and that he was goin