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Carmel
29 Dec. 38
Dear Father Freud,
I have been home again since the 25th. I am still unsteady in my gait and giddy when I lie down or get up, and there are still some bruises which keep on reappearing. I am also very easily fatigued by people and so I have seen only very few as yet. But apart from that everything is over, not like an encounter with death which it might easily have been. For
the moment I cannot and do not want to work; for the first time since the war I have a lot of leisure. I am also taking a rest from daily political life. And the thought often worries me that I taxed your strength unduly during my stay in London and bothered you with all too detailed narratives from the story of the two young treasure-seekers in the Zoo. I now think that I cannot write the book in this way; the German-Jewish St. Bartholomew's Night would have to be included too and that would necessitate many changes, large and small, in the plan. Perhaps this summer I will do the novel about 1914 (Title: 'Tis Now 25 Years Ago), which would have to hint at consequences reaching up to the present day.
And how are you? I was pleased to hear from Eitingon what a wonderful recovery Fräulein Bernays has made—how good that is for her sake and your wife's! My wife has had her nerves taxed beyond endurance, but now she too is relaxing. A new epoch is dawning for her too and we are having a holiday together such as we have not had for a long time.
Heavenly weather à la niçoise changed into rain yesterday; soft, abundant rain, and winter is coming in. All the best to you, dear Father, and to Anna, Martin and all your household. Will 1939 unite us once again? Shall I not have to take my brave Michael over to the U.S.A.? All uncertain. Farewell to you in your beautiful study with the green lawn before your window; a happy New Year?
Your faithful
A. Z.
P.S. Your letter of 13. xii has just been forwarded here. Such delays occur often now. I do not know, of course, whether the army is to blame. But