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Semmering
11.8.24
Dear Lou
I am writing to you from the deep contentment of a boundless inactivity, interspersed with the unpleasant sensations of a small-scale war waged with a refractory piece of equipment. Reflecting on the fine but yet not entirely acceptable sentences in which you discussed the relationship of man to his body, I ask myself what you would say to the analogous relationship to a substitute such as this, which tries to be and yet cannot be the self. This is a problem which arises even in the case of spectacles, false teeth and wigs, but not so insistently as in the case of a prosthesis. At the moment, in view of the ten months in which I have been free from relapses, I catch myself adjusting to the idea of a reprieve, not without a suspicion, however, that ‘Nature’ tends to lull us into a sense of security, before administering the coup de grâce—which of course on the other hand is one of her ways of being merciful.
I find your reaction to the small gift of dollars exaggerated. When we met last in Berlin, I considered my participation in your financial difficulties to be rather as a recurring responsibility. I felt myself to be one of the few remaining people capable of earning money, and I did not foresee any physical curtailment of my working capacity, such as has actually come about since then. Even now I earn with ease more than we need, while through no fault of their own my sons, alas, have to struggle with poverty, owing to their lack of employment. Recently Anna had the idea of transmitting a sum of money to little E., in order that it should come into your hands by way of this detour. It seemed to us—though it has not in fact happened—that she would soon have to break off her analysis, whereupon you with your usual hard-heartedness would have carried on without a fee[….]