Parenthood: A Dynamic Perspective

Dear Dr Hayley:

In her 4 February 1986 letter to you (Int. Rev. Psychoanal., 13: 357) about my review of Parenthood: a Dynamic Perspective, Miriam Elson is correct in saying that what I omitted in my citation skewed the meaning of her paragraph. But I do not agree that I distorted the essence of her chapter. Her letter restates her fundamental view which I believe I accurately represented. 'Support of the forming and firming narcissism in the child is the developmental task of parenthood. The continuing transformation of their own narcissism is the developmental process of parenthood.'

Ms Elson understands correctly that I disagree with her views of parenthood. I believe a parent is required to perform many tasks for his or her child, including the support and promotion of healthy narcissism. But if humans are conceived of as biological creatures with a destiny for individual and species preservation, then the fundamental tasks of parenthood are of a vaster and grander dimension. These fundamental tasks must be concerned with promoting the optimal unfolding of a network of many developmental lines anchored in a basic drive organization.

I am dubious of the notion that parenthood is a developmental process, and I do believe that there is a terminus to its development. But at that terminus the resulting psychological structures are in dynamic balance and subject to change and alteration. If parenthood evokes conflict, new compromise formations may develop which promote better or worse adaptations. Viewed in this light, parenthood may indeed be the occasion for structural change. Like the twenty-five contributors to Parenthood: A Dynamic Perspective, I believe parenthood can be a pivotal moment in the lives of men and women and worthy of psychoanalytic study.

P.S. I do have children, two of whom are pursuing their education in universities distant from their home. I know I have had a profound influence on their lives as they on mine—but not, I believe, as c