The Two-Woman Phenomenon Revisited

The clinical syndrome of “the two-woman phenomenon” as described by Weiss in a previous publication is reviewed. The problem of the role of the bias of the analyst in the treatment of such cases is raised, and the formulation used by Weiss to explain the phenomenon, employing the assumption of early splitting of maternal representations, is challenged. Viewing the two-woman syndrome as a manifestation of narcissistic pathology in middle age is suggested as a better explanation, one that more cogently fits the commonly observed clinical facts. A spectrum of pathological solutions to narcissistic wounding can be delineated in the patient's marital situation. These range from an empty depleted collapse on the one hand, to suddenly abandoning a wife of many years and engaging in a fruitless search for a fantasized woman on the other. The two-woman phenomenon stands in between these extremes as an attempt at compromise formation.

In 1987 Stanley Weiss published an important clinical paper describing what he named “the two-woman phenomenon.” Men who show this syndrome retain their commitment to their wife but are also passionately in love with another woman. They appear in the clinician's office only when a conflict occurs because one or the other woman must be given up due to the vicissitudes of life. Such men usually got married early in life to a woman from a background similar to their own. Weiss writes:

They remain monogamous and devoted, but following an initial period of sexual passion and love, they become emotionally distant from their wives; at a later time they fall passionately in love with another woman. While

1. * Professor of Psychiatry, Northwestern University.

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they are in love with the new woman their feelings of responsibility and commitment to wife and marriage remain intact and ongoing.

The intense pleasure and passion that is awakened by and invested in the new love object spreads to all the functioning and activities of these men. They describe l