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After their children are grown and gone, most individuals look forward to grandparenthood with eager anticipation. It offers a second chance at parenting for those who were too busy to enjoy fully their own children and a third opportunity to rework developmental conflicts as they witness their grandchildren's struggles with the same conflicts. Unfortunately, however, some grandparents are unwilling and others unable to function as traditional grandparents. Some are still quite involved in their own careers. Those who are geographically separated from their grandchildren may have limited opportunities to bond with them and develop a loving relationship. Another complicating factor is that greater longevity has resulted in an increased number of living great-grandparents. Consequently, some grandparents now have obligations to their own aging parents that compete with obligations to their grandchildren. Discomfort in the grandparent role can also result from conflict with the parents about child-rearing practices or to the premature occurrence of grandparenthood.
Hagestad and Burton (1986) have suggested that when life changes, such as becoming a grandparent, come off schedule, the transition is more difficult. They point out that grandparenthood is supposed to occur “when individuals have been freed from the commitments of the child rearing years, when they have achieved … economic security, and at a time when they are still healthy and vigorous. When the life changes come at the normal, expected time, the experience is shared with peers, whereas off-time persons may feel deviant and lack social support in the new role.” Furthermore, individuals who become grandparents in their 30s are often still actively involved in raising their own children. When active parenting overlaps and competes with grandparenting, the grandparent role may be rejected
Grandparents who have a good relationship with their children have the best chance of having gratifying interactions with th