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The definition of grief in Webster's New World Dictionary, Third College Edition is, “intense emotional suffering caused by loss, disaster or misfortune or acute sorrow and deep sadness.”
Freud's paper, “Mourning and Melancholia” (1917) was critically important in understanding the mourning process. In melancholia, Freud says that object cathexis is replaced by an identification. The distinguishing feature between mourning and melancholia is that in mourning there is a real loss, in melancholia there is not a real loss. Features of mourning are found, in melancholia, including regression from a narcissistic object choice.
In Cernak and Buskirk's article (1991), they postulate anger as associated with the grief process. It seems to me that beyond anger is disappointment, loss, and other primitive affects camouflaged as anger. Yalom and Lieberman (1991) discuss the positive course of bereavement when increased awareness is present, Horowitz (1990) sees mourning as a passage that entails conscious and unconscious processes. Shoshan (1989) sees the intergenemilieu inter-generational aspect of mourning.
On May 18, 1992 my Dad died at the age of 84 after suffering with Alzheimer's Disease for about 5 years. The last days of his life were spent on an Alzheimer's unit, separated from my mother, his wife of 60 years, and his family. This was lonely and confusing for my Dad and our family.
Although the death of my father was no surprise to me, I found myself not equipped to deal with this loss, even though I had anticipated his dying for at least a year. Interestingly enough, I feel more stabilized one year later than I ever had before. I also feel more healthy mentally.