The Good Girl Grows Up: Gender and Self-Esteem

Here is a fable about a race: Rabbit could barely stop laughing—it seemed ridiculous! Turtle wanted to be in the race. “But Turtle,” said Rabbit, between gasps of laughter, “you can't possibly be in the race. You're not built right; your biology prevents you from participating.” Turtle persisted. “All right, Rabbit,” replied Turtle, “if my biology keeps me out of the race, then eliminate all your rules and regulations so we can see what is natural and biological and what is not.” “Well, Turtle,” answered Rabbit, irritation beginning to creep into his voice, “it will harm your loving and patient character to be in such a competitive, destructive race.” “Perhaps,” said Turtle, “I can improve the quality of the race to make it better for both of us. At least I deserve the chance.” And the arguments continued until Rabbit realized that Turtle was determined to be in the race. So Rabbit agreed to change the rules and Turtle entered the race. From the start, Rabbit could see that Turtle had a lot to learn. He patted her on the back for her struggles and spirit. But Turtle got better and better, and Rabbit began to worry. Turtle was doing far better in the race than Rabbit had anticipated. This must not be, thought Rabbit, for it will change the natural order of things. So in a spurt of energy, Rabbit flew by Turtle, knocking her over on her back. “Oh, Turtle,” said Rabbit in a voice filled with sympathy, “I did try to tell you that you were not built for this race. Here, let me help you home.”

This story typifies the traditional stereotypes about gender that are only slowly disappearing. Warm, sensitive, gentle, dependent, passive, emotional, cooperative, supportive, talkative, needs security, subjective, submissive, less aggressive: this old list of adjectives that used to describe women is not so much a portrayal of femininity as it is of a psychological and social state of powerlessness. And the opposite adjectives