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We're grateful to Dr. Althea J. Horner for her thoughtful reading of our paper about Martha Freud and the influence she exerted on her husband. Dr. Horner notes Freud's narcissism and claims that he wished for a compliant woman to act as his self object. Yet an essential part of the dynamic left out of Horner's sum-up is that Freud did not quite want a weak, dependent woman, but rather an uncomplaining workhorse who would take care of all domestic arrangements and enable him to pursue his work. In fact, Martha did get sick at times, spending occasional time in a sanatorium. How Freud reacted to these episodes isn't clear, though it appears to have been neither disastrous nor wholly satisfying. And though Freud inflicted narcissistic wounds on Martha, what accounts for the waning of their romantic and sexual connection remains uncertain. Some part of Freud also wanted an intellectual partner, though he was clearly disappointed in that respect. We don't ascribe blame to either party, though Freud frequently showed anxiety in his relations with women, and those feelings inevitably emerge in his psychoanalytic theories.
Horner may have omitted some these points in her commentary because they seem to run opposite to her main point about Freud's desire for compliancy and weakness. Can one desire opposed traits in a love object? As psychoanalysis tells us, absolutely.