Idealization and Contempt: Dual Aspects of the Process of Devaluation of the Breast in a Feeding Relationship

It is ironic and perhaps also rather sad that a retrospective reading through of my mother and infant observations, which comprised an essential part of my pre-clinical training, led me to formulate the title of this paper. The irony and sadness lie, I think, in the contrast between this mother's highly idealized conscious ideas about breast-feeding, and the less conscious and unconscious processes by which the breast seemed to become a devalued and at times contemptible object for her baby.

I observed this mother, Jenny, with her baby, Anna, on a weekly basis over a period of two years, and subsequently on infrequent occasions. At the time of Anna's birth, Jenny and her boyfriend Michael, both of whom are Australian, were living in a “commune” in a large semi-derelict house with a group of friends. Inside, the room shared by the couple was brightly painted and well cared for, and the parents-to-be were adamant that their first child would be born in their home with as little medical intervention as possible.

At my first meeting with Jenny and Michael they emphasized to me their particular views on child-rearing, and they both seemed to adhere quite rigidly to an “alternative” ideology by which certain ideas and practices were deemed good as opposed to others which were seen as extremely bad. To give some of the most relevant examples: Jenny felt that a hospital birth would inevitably produce a traumatized and damaged baby, and she warned me that observations might be impeded by the fact that she intended to carry the baby next to her body all the time. She also made frequent references to the “vegan” diet which she followed, consisting of a very limited range of health foods which she felt were “pure” as opposed to the “contaminated” food eaten by most people in our culture; in particular, any animal product.

In accord with the parents' wishes, Anna was born at home amongst a circle of close friends. Jenny gave birth in a supported squatting position, and after seven