“Well, I Couldn't Say No, Could I?”: Difficulties in the Path of Late Adoption*

Mark, when he made the comment above, was referring to the time when he was 10 years old and had been placed with the W. family with a view to adoption. This paper will consider how his underlying wish to “say no” contributed to the initial difficulties in the path of this adoption; it will then go on to consider external factors and the effect which they had, in order to discover something of the tasks and difficulties facing children who are placed for late adoption.

In Britain an active policy of finding homes for older and hard-to-place children has resulted in the placement of large numbers of such children. The Anna Freud Centre's Study Group on Adopted Children has already outlined some of the difficulties which these children experience when facing such a placement, a placement which may from the outside represent the best chance for the child, but which may nevertheless throw his inner life into confusion and upheaval, as earlier feelings of helplessness and anger, fears of rejection, and conflicts about dependency are all reactivated, and certain objects and possibilities are given up and mourned. All these proved complications for Mark in coming to terms with his adoption.

There were other complications specific to Mark's case. His history was one of considerable deprivation: at 2 years 9 months he and two siblings were placed in a children's home when his mother became psychotic, and he remained there until he was 10 years 2 months. He was then placed for adoption with a middle-class white couple who offered a stimulating home environment and were very keen to try and undo the effects of seven years of institutional life so that Mark could be a brother to their son, Ronnie, a black 12-year-old whom they had adopted at birth. Mark's was thus a transracial adoption with all the potential difficulties inherent in such an adoption.

What I think was overlooked when he was placed for adoption was the importance of his relationship with his sister and brother who