Reflections on the Process of Internalisation*

I would like to reflect in this paper on some aspects of the process of internalisation. I refer to the beginning of the internalisation of “an object that loves and protects the self” (Klein 1957) described by Melanie Klein as the basic source of inner strength.

I will describe the first two years of work with David, a boy who was eighteen years old when he referred himself to the Tavistock. He was severely disabled as he was born without arms from the elbow down. Only after two years of treatment was he able to let go of the grip of his eyes on me and began using the couch. I thought it would be pertinent to the subject of this paper to describe the development of our relationship during those first two years.

David referred himself to the Tavistock Young People's Counselling Service and he knew that the service offered only up to four sessions. He said, on the phone, that a teacher at his college had advised him to get in touch with us because he thought he might have problems and it might be helpful for him to talk to a counsellor. In the telephone call he made no mention of his disability. He repeated to me, in the first session, that he did not really know why he had decided to ask for an appointment. It had been his tutor's idea. He was attending the first year of an art foundation course and he enjoyed college and enjoyed living in the halls. He launched into a description of his work, of his painting and there was no mention of any problem.

He was very articulate, appeared very sure of himself and put across the feeling he would be very happy if I did not ask any questions. This handsome boy, looking at me with very gripping eyes, was sitting with his stumps held behind the back of the couch, his legs crossed, ear phones around his neck and a walkman clipped to his belt, a lively engaging adolescent, talking about his love for painting. From time to time he would brush his forehead and pull his hair back with his right stump, with a very natural movement,