This paper is based on work in the baby clinic of a general practice, with examples from infant observation, and ideas from recent research. It is something of an interdisciplinary paper.

Feeding and weaning problems are related to issues of closeness and distance between baby and care-giver. In early feeding problems the unmet needs of the parents are crucial. In weaning the use of the spoon as a ‘transitional object’ and as a symbol of the baby's own creative ‘agency’ is described. Later problems may connect with mother's eating disorders, intrusiveness by parents and conflict between parents and baby.