Silence and Survival: Working with Strategies of Denial in Families of Traumatized Pre-School Children

Silence and denial about previous traumatic experiences are common features in families exposed to organized violence. Mutual protection between family members, and especially between parents and children, is seen as the fundament for the silencing of traumatic experiences. This strategy is suggested to have adaptive advantages in dangerous situations in general, where it serves the function of saving the child's internal representations of his/her parents as secure bases. If, however, the dangerous situation escalates and a psychic trauma cannot be avoided, the strategy of mutual silence concerning the event(s) becomes an obstacle for giving traumatized children parental support and professional treatment. It is argued that clinicians need to take seriously the strong reasons families have for upholding their strategy of denial, if they want to help traumatized families to a better functioning. A case presentation is made to illustrate how it is possible to use refugee children's re-enacting play as a source of information about past traumatic events in order to change destructive post-traumatic family dynamics and improve parental support to the child.