In this paper, the process of ending therapy is likened to the ordinary developmental task of ‘letting go’ that parents have to undertake, to help their child to grow up. ‘Letting go’ is contrasted with the process of ‘holding’ the child in mind that is so central to the therapeutic and parental task. Following thoughts about some of the external issues that play a part in the decision to end a child's treatment, this developmental perspective of psychoanalytic psychotherapy is discussed through a clinical illustration of the ending of a 5–year-old boy's treatment. Different strands of the therapeutic relationship as highlighted during the ending phase of therapy are distinguished and attention is drawn to the role of the ‘new relationship’ between therapist and child and how this differs from the transference relationship. Countertransference issues in their broadest form are also considered.