This paper looks at the role of fathers in the family. Structured around three poems, it emphasises the need for a triangular structure in the mind, enabling the child (and any individual) to look at ‘reality’, internal and thus external too, from a third position. The Oedipal situation, what Hanna Segal called ‘the core complex’, lies deep within the mind of any individual, and continues to have vital relevance in the lives of modern families. Clinical material is included in the paper to illustrate the points made.