This paper contains thoughts on the journey a man undertakes when he becomes the father to a newborn child, and on the difficulties he faces. Drawing on both psychoanalytic theory and clinical experience the author considers the journey to fatherhood men undertake, exploring the need for them to tolerate change and loneliness as they support and protect the new mother-infant dyad. While infantile anxieties of abandonment may be aroused, the importance of the father’s role in the newly established family is emphasised, particularly in relation to the child finding their own identity. Throughout the paper, parallels are drawn between the role of the father and the role of psychoanalyst or psychotherapist.