What does it mean to mourn the sudden death of a mother who abandoned you at the age of 5? In this narrative paper, the writer explores the many ways in which old wounds were reopened for him, more than fifty years later, when he was faced with the actual death of his mother in the summer of 2022. With her death the writer comes to realize that with death there is no ending. Mourning a mother that abandoned you does not lead to closure. There is always the question of Why? Themes of abandonment, grief and parental loss, centering around the writer’s experiences of growing up in the foster care system will be examined.