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The familiar Cinderella story came alive for me as I became absorbed in this creative and sensitive attempt to explore the experiences of envying and being envied. Envy is examined as it is manifested between sisters, between parent and child, between man and woman and between nations. The corresponding inward conflicts between the parts of the psyche are also dealt with. The need for individuals and for nations to acknowledge their envy is the central concept of this book. The hope is that envy may be used constructively rather than merely continue to dominate destructively. Envy between persons and nations is understood as a displacement of our own relation to the good.
In the first half of the book envy is discussed from a psychological viewpoint, initially in relation to the plight of the envied one, then in relation to the pain of the envier; finally, the predicament of the analyst and analysand is presented as they grapple with envy in the course of analysis. Annihilation of being is seen as the central threat to the envied one, for he or she will be treated as an object rather than a subject by the envier: ‘In both idealisation and persecution the envied one is turned into an abstraction—hero or villain—and robbed of concrete identity’ (p. 18). This, and a later assertion that the experiences of the envier and the envied are very similar, seem somewhat controversial. Envy ‘generalises’, we are told, and so perhaps I should not be surprised to find this to be a pitfall for those who seek to write about it.
The authors move on to show that the conflicts between the central aspects of the feminine personality, especially the ego and the shadow, are illustrated in the relation between Cinderella and her sisters. Ann Ulanov's interest in the psychology of women is clear from her earlier writings. Despite the confines of the story I wished more attention had been given to the envious man.
I found the chapter on treatment well worth reading. It is rich in insights abou