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This paper, delivered at a symposium on abortion, is based on the author's work as a therapist at the Tavistock Institute of Marital Studies with the small proportion of that Institute's patients who speak of their experience of abortion and its consequences. It does not therefore set out to construct a general theory of the effects of abortion on marriage, but looks only at the tip of the iceberg that is seen in the consulting room. The paper is followed by a report of the discussion which it aroused among members of the seminar.
Abortion is experienced primarily as loss, and loss evokes grief as a normal reaction. Where loss is not mourned, the subject's capacity for coping with subsequent loss can be seriously impaired. The author gives examples of the effects of failing to grieve for an abortion, and shows further how these ill-effects can be associated with significant dates and anniversaries.
An abortion can be used in various ways between the parents of the aborted foetus. For example, a father can punish the mother by insisting on an abortion against her will. Or an abortion can be used as a rite de passage, for instance by a girl in the process of growing up from childhood to adulthood. Where there is ongoing