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Fulfilling intimate relationships require a constant emotional and psychological struggle to disentangle strangleholds created by the interpenetration of unresolved complexes stemming from previous disappointing relational experiences. These complexes may manifest as an encrypted pattern of engagement that each partner brings to the marriage, like a ‘malignant dowry’. The dowry box, once opened, releases its nefarious contents to create an extremely complex and entangled drama I call the ‘interlocking traumatic scene’.
Partners unconsciously entrap each other to play a part in such a scene with double (sometimes multiple) roles for each antagonist. The imaginal space between the two characters can be seen as a projection screen, upon which are superimposed two separate shadow plays, one on each side of the screen. A third play, which is a co-created product of these two individual traumatic scenes, can also be observed. Three plays are performed simultaneously.
The defensive systems that the two individuals bring to the equation dovetail together, but the actual interlocking mechanism itself deadlocks in such a way that it seems to have its own malignant presence, a ‘malevolent third’ (after Ogden 1994). I outline therapeutic interventions using the metaphor of the therapist as ‘anti-director’ and I introduce my concept of the conjoint selected fact (after Bion 1963 after Poincar, 1952).