This paper explores the relationship between language and the development of self-agency. I suggest that a child discovers that he or she actually exists as a person with a mind and desires through the mirroring response he or she creates in the parent. This developmental stage of ‘teleological’ level of self-agency is related to Terrence Deacon's concept of indexical communication. The coercive effect this has on others is explored and the way language may become subverted from its symbolic function and used in the service of indexical communication is discussed, illustrated by examples from the plays of Harold Pinter.