This paper will explore the use of identification with aspects of a lost object as a defensive strategy to cope with traumatic loss, and will show how in the depth of the analytic work this identification can be accessed and made conscious. Descriptions of work with a three-year-old boy illustrate how the sudden loss of his mother's breasts had made weaning un-accessible to him, and how, in the absence of a good experience of separation, the process of mourning had not been able to take place. Instead, identification with aspects of the lost breast was used as a defence against pain, and this state of affairs was proving a hindrance to individuation. In the discussion of the case material, the use of identification as a defence will be highlighted, and a differentiation made between abandonment and separation as this illuminates the link between mourning and individuation.