In an age of polarized political views and growing nationalism it is vital that the psychoanalytic profession offers its contribution. The author makes a link between early infant development and social and political behaviour. Psychoanalytic, Jungian and Relational ideas are explored. Starting from Freud and his theory of 'minor differences’, a dichotomy between closeness and separateness is investigated. The writer argues that difference is at the centre of human identity and human development and explores why we struggle to accept it. The totalitarian political system is described as one that eliminates difference. A case study is offered as an illustration of a patient's struggle to move from a symbiotic, undifferentiated state towards object relating and individuation.