You do not currently have permission to view the full text for this document. Please sign in to an account with an active subscription or contact support.
I have seen Alexi in analytic therapy for five and a half years. He had seen two therapists prior to arriving in my consulting room. Even though he was dissatisfied with his experience with his first therapist, he remained with her much longer than he desired because he was afraid he would fall apart if he left. He also remained in several jobs much longer than he wished because he felt he could not summon the emotional resources to face his fears and leave the situation. This theme has been expressed in our relationship through his ambivalence towards his felt dependency on me. At times, particularly during the first years of our work, Alexi felt torn between his need of me, and our sessions, to prevent him from falling apart, and his fear that he would become so dependent upon me that he would be unable to leave, as he did with his first therapist and several jobs.
Alexi had just turned 46 when we began our therapeutic work. Like his father, he is trained as a computer systems analyst, although in a different area of specialization. He has been self-employed during our time working together. He is married to a university professor and they have one daughter in primary school. Alexi presented with a long history of anxiety and depression. He was plagued with the feeling his life was always on the edge of a precipice; always imminently on the verge of unravelling, imploding, or falling apart, i.e. that he would die, lose his marriage, or fail in his business. Alexi also constantly felt his body would betray him by failing to function properly, e.g. fears of being unable to sleep, eliminate properly, or function sexually. He also experienced