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It is commonly held that the most intimate relationship in life is the one that exists between a mother and her infant at the breast. Although the infant has not mastered language, other channels for communication seem to suffice. It is also said that in marriage one may find the second most intimate relationship in life. It might be argued that marriage offers superior opportunities for intimacy to the mother-child kind, in that new skills learned in maturity can be used to avoid the pitfalls an infant's relationship is subject to when conflicting emotions are experienced.
For those who have successfully negotiated the developmental stages, marriage may provide intimate emotional contact. However, since marriage is a relationship in which needs from various stages in the development of one person interact with those of another, fixation or regression in either partner prevents the spontaneous enjoyment of the relationship, and instead provides a breeding ground for repetitions of unresolved emotional conflicts from the past. As such conflicts begin to interfere with the relationship, one or both partners may seek outside help.
Adults usually come to psychoanalytic treatment because they cannot achieve the goals they set for themselves in marriage or in other aspects of living. Some arrive complaining about the quest for a mate. Others are avoiding commitments or asking whether they should marry, or whom they should marry. These communications