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When, in Ovid's rendering of the Myth of Narcissus, Narcissus is pursued by the nymph Echo, he flees saying: “Hands off! Embrace me not! May I die before I give you power over me!” This rejection of intimacy is characteristic of Narcissus and of narcissistic character disorders, and it finally leads to his fatal confrontation with his own image in a pool. For another would-be lover, this time a male whom Narcissus had similarly rejected, had prayed to heaven: “So may he himself love, and never gain the thing he loves!” The prayer is heard by the goddess Nemesis, and it is she who is behind Narcissus' infatuation and death.
It is the scene at the pool that I wish to consider and consequently must skip over much of the rest of the myth. But one point should be mentioned in passing, and it will be taken up again in the clinical material I shall present. That is the role of Nemesis and the curse that descends upon Narcissus. A possible rendering of the name Nemesis is envy,1 and it is indeed a curse of envy that torments Narcissus. He is led to desire what he can never have. As we shall see, this underlies his attitude towards the image he sees in the pool and especially causes his inability to relate to the image as the Self, as the center of his psyche. Narcissus can only allow its existence if he can merge with it and possess it.
In centering upon the myth in this way I intend to bring out an aspect of intimacy, especially problematic for the narcissistic character.