The author uses her experience as a mother of a young child to understand the preoedipal needs of children. Paramount among what children need is the mother's sensitivity to creating an emotional environment which balances the conflicting needs for union and separation. Recent research is presented delineating findings on the importance of touch, aspects of the development of language, the impact of the communication of emotions as well as the use of emotions in the development of cognition, and, finally, the role and importance of the father in the development of the ego.