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The title of this conference implies we know “what kids really need.” At this moment many of us are struggling to integrate complex concepts which often seem at odds. In this conference we, as analysts and educators, are pondering the role of drives and their contribution to learning. Meadow in her comments referred to “the biological bases of behavior.” She cited “the need to make helplessness tolerable” and presented an understanding of mental development as “an attempt to control tension.”
What implications do such concepts have for teaching, for parenting, for training of practitioners? The following authors will address their question of enactment based on our best knowledge to date of what children need.
As a background for these presentations I will now briefly outline my own guiding concepts in my work with children, families and those who help them. Children need maturational competency in three areas:
to know what they feel, to be able to tolerate what they feel, to be able to perceive what others feel, to tolerate what others feel;
to ask for what they want, to learn how to get it constructively and creatively, and to tolerate not getting it;
to discover what they can do, what they can say, what they can trust.