In a presentation to psychoanalytic educators and students, the author presented the reflections from which he has adapted this article. In it, he carefully elaborates both developmental theory and practice guidance from his personal life experiences and clinical observations. He shows that desire—active longing for the fulfillment of a wish—is always accompanied by conflict, because wishes always offer both reward and risk. When the conflict is unconscious the real risks are greater and the rewards less certain. Bringing a conflict to conscious awareness may improve the chances of getting what one really wants, but at the initial cost of emotional effort and pain, particularly in mastering the essential ability to say “no.”