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This chapter will explore the specific struggles of women attempting to fulfil the function of mothering, when they have been themselves the object of early abuse, at times repeated through several generations. While some women from an emotionally disadvantaged background manage to be very good mothers, others do not. I will argue that repetition is a key factor in understanding their difficulties. Much against their conscious intention, as adults they repeat the early traumatic situation again as victims, and sometimes also as abusers, and they repeat their pregnancies which to them represent a concrete solution; with their babies they repeat their mother's behaviour and they induce in their children a repetition of their own feelings. I will also discuss that in some of these cases there is a strong sadomasochistic tone in their relationships, which leads them to co-create a sadomasochistic parental couple which has a powerful hold on them and which generates further perverse behaviour - the ‘malignant bonding’ (Welldon 2007, 2010). I intend to show that these abusive mother-child situations are very difficult to handle for the professionals involved and that a psychoanalytic understanding is essential in helping them to provide realistic and clear-sighted interventions. I shall illustrate this with the case of Ms B, a young woman whose expectations of motherhood were profoundly dissociated from the reality of becoming a mother.
The long-term consequences of childhood abuse and neglect for a girl can result in further abuse and neglect of her own body, and
can lead to acts of self-harm such as eating disorders, substance abuse, self-cutting and self-burning. These usually appear during adolescence when these young women become aware of the similarities between their bodies and their mother's. These self-attacks also represent their often unconscious wishes of revenge against their mothers linked to a conscious wish to have a different destiny. Later these acts o