Enaction

A mother requested a consultation for her son, aged 11. She came without her husband, the child's father. She had been worried for several months about his moodiness and his withdrawnness, which stood in contrast with their former mutual trust. He was also manifesting quite acute anxieties at bedtime and experiencing moments of searing anger that were having a negative impact on his parents, as well as his brothers and sisters, and himself. He was no longer the gay and adorable little boy that he had been. While his mother was speaking, the child was getting impatient and expressing this by being agitated. He repeated some of the things his mother had said and offered a commentary in a clearly provocative tone. His mother spoke intelligently and tenderly about her son, their relationship, as well as his relationship with his father. She then went on to say that they were extremely “different”. At this moment, she accompanied her statement with a peculiar gesture: she put her hands together, the right hand in precise contact with the left. There was no difference; they matched perfectly. This gesture and the liveliness of the problem of separation that it expressed were striking. At this precise moment, the analyst felt in her body an emotion that accelerated her heart beat for a moment and experienced inwardly a sense of sad anger.

Deciding that she would intervene, she said to the mother and child that, although they were different, they seemed to have difficulty accepting it. She pointed out that it would not have been possible to slip a piece of cigarette paper between these two joined hands. Separating them would have been almost impossible. She added that in any case they seemed to be going through a painful period. It is true that the child was growing up and would soon be entering 6th grade in France (6th grade Junior High School in the USA and Year 7 High School in the UK); Growing up, yes, it means separating from one's mother; and separating, was perhaps fr