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A selection of letters between the heretical psychoanalyst Robert J. Stoller and the sociologist and sexologist William Simon (formerly of the Kinsey Institute) about: the ‘love-hate’ relationship between research and theory; the changes in American sexual culture unfolding in the wake of the sexual revolution; the meaning and significance of the ascent of postmodernity; and the non-normative desires and fantasies rife in the quotidian sex of ordinary human beings.