Patients who have been inadequately shielded from conflicted maternal feelings have the task of coping with the helplessness engendered by a premature awareness of the mother as separate. One consequence can be an identification with the conflicted aspect of the mother. Such an identification preserves the illusion of a satisfactory mother; it maintains an omnipotent fantasy of being the cause of mother's behavior, giving a reassuring sense of control; and it facilitates actual connection to a mother who may only attend to her child when the child's behavior is congruent with her own needs to project and externalize. Understanding that such an identification exists can help the therapist make sense out of an otherwise uncomfortable and bewildering set of countertransference reactions. Illustrative case material is presented.