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Freud wrote of the reciprocal relationship between engagement with the real world of other people and engagement with narcissistic illusion. He saw the latter as providing a tempting yet perilous avenue to defensive retreat, culminating in the schizophrenic state of loss of connection with the real world. Kernberg, among others, has conceptualized narcissistic configurations as defending against intense oral-aggressive impulses and as defeating the analytic endeavor unless quickly and vigorously interpreted. Sullivan and Fromm, despite quite different theoretical premises, also saw idealization of self or of others as a pernicious retreat from reality. Another view of the function of narcissistic illusion is found in Winnicott and Kohut, who view such illusion as the wellspring of creativity and of the emergence of the healthy self. Rather than being quickly and vigorously interpreted, narcissistic illusion must be allowed to develop and be transformed in the light of reality into more realistic images of self and others. The author proceeds to offer an approach drawing on the clinical wisdom in both points of view. Narcissistic illusion is neither solely defensive nor solely growth-promoting; more importantly, it is a form of relatedness with others. The child participates in the narcissistic illusions of the parents. To the extent that these are flexible and can give way to more realistic assessments, the child, too, can achieve a balanced narcissism. But if the parents are much addicted to narcissistic illusions, the child feels compelled to share in these rigidly held, illusory views. Like Icarus, each of us is given a set of narcissistic wings by his parents. It is the nature of the parents' investments in these illusions that influences the nature of the flight: whether one can safely and pleasurably soar, or whether one flies too high so that the wings melt, or flies too low so that the wings become too wet and heavy. Thus grandiosity and ideali