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Wallerstein and Blakeslee's latest volume, on an immensely important and troubling aspect of human relations, is impressive as well as eminently readable. It “cuts to the chase” in regard to the emotions and behaviors families face once the decision to divorce has been made. The two parents, facing the end of their marriage, with all the disappointments and anxieties that this engenders, must navigate the problems attendant to raising children in two separate households. This book seeks to help them do it, and it is organized in such a manner that parents can select the topics pertinent to their needs. It is written in a style that seeks to make it as easy as possible for divorcing parents to understand the central points the authors seek to make.
Repeatedly in the book, parents are encouraged to gain control of their emotions and to think through the issues. The introduction advises them that they will be facing three major, interlocking challenges: getting one's own life under control, preparing the children for the breakup, and supporting them through it while creating a new relationship with the ex-partner. At first, I was skeptical about the authors' apparent attempt to sound like Spock and Brazelton. Early in the book are such statements as “I can tell you exactly what to say to your children and how, depending on their ages, they are likely to respond.… The danger points are unexpected, but so are the opportunities. I will be your guide” (p. xiii). At first, they tended to impress me as authoritative and even