In this essay, I explore the relationship between solace and lament, noting a paradox regarding which comes first. I suggest that solace is a prerequisite for a capacity to lament. I develop a conceptualization of the solacing function of the analyst as an active, yet gentle, approach toward a patient that can locate unrepresented experiences of loss in order to stimulate lament and a process of mourning. Grievance, as a protracted state, is described as a pseudo lament that, as a static stance, forms an impenetrable barrier to lament. Clinical material illustrates challenges of foreclosed mourning.